p.noy

"No Reconciliation without Justice." -P.Noy.
credits: tumblr

***

Indeed, this inauguration is historical. God bless our country!

strangers.

***
"it’s my overactive mind that comes up with
situations that ruin everything. So, im sorry. Its not you. It's me."
***

I never expected to see him again, not this time. Thanks to Marlon for the surprise, Nakakagalit. As usual, my body shivers and I feel i'm gonna explode- in a really really bad way. Hindi ko alam bakit ganun, pero ganun e. Labo. I dont freakin' know why i like him this much and why i can't just quit it to think we're just complete strangers. When i saw him, Ang awkward. Nararamdaman ko sa hangin. I dont know if im over reacting, pero wala lang. feeling ko, na-aawkward-an din siya. He didn't even look at me and i tried my best not to look at him either. Ang weird pa nun, hindi pa ako nakakapasok ng school, sa 711 pa lang, i saw his blockmates na, i think it's ria and syenna ata yun. Pagkapasok naman, we saw kim at nagbiro pa about him. But honestly, Oo na. Umaasa akong makita siya, but when i saw him again, my heart dropped on the floors. There was a moment pa when i looked on their side, i saw him walking while drinking and i don't know kung nagkatinginan kami or what, or i assumed, pero i know umiwas siya agad ng tingin. And that moment, hindi lang nalaglag ang puso ko sa sahig, but my heart just died. Sadly, we're strangers now and we can never be the same again.

***

After school, we went to Pink Sisters to just solemnly pray. Andami ko sinulat sa letter but as always, it's as simple as my prayers. As I remember, these are my 5 simple wish (no particular order): Acceptance, Safety, Guidance, Love and Direction.
After Pink Sisters, we went to Pancake House for meryenda/dinner c/o First!
(First, thank you for the treat! Sobrang nabusog kami! sa uulitin! jk.)
On our way home, hindi ko masyado naisip how sad i am since kinukulit ako ni tween but when they all left the bus, nagflash-back na naman yung nangyari during the day. I don't know why it's so hard to quit the ideal. Eh, pucha. Ideal ba yun? eh lagi nga ako binabargas. pero, ewan ko ba, siya yung gusto ko e.

although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your family's party, or to go out with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with before you find “The One.” You know, the one you keep in the MEANTIME.

She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a “real” woman, either. She’s not beautiful enough or sexy enough to be seen in the light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things you are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable. Doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a “real” woman does. But she’s cool, nice and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine.

You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretense to preserve. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you. And you know that you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her.

It won’t bother her that you'll both get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and she'll go home. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the rest of your day went. She’s just so cool.

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t.. because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought) you know that it’s really not fair.

You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs - she could really play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off.

Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.

She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile.

Mainly, she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be SPECIAL to someone, too. We all do.

She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.

She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

-reposted from Achi's facebook notes.

This written article made my heart literally dropped. :(

god whispered answers.

God whisper me an answer: "All the bad things that happened was a test." then, my mind flashed back. Indeed, it was all a test and i bow my head down and pray.

PBB Teen Clash 2010.

photos from ABS-CBN Teen Clash2010
***

Okay, ever since the PBB Teen Clash had started, I am a big fan of the Stunning Stud of Rizal, Ivan Dorschner. And now that the season comes to an end, I'm happy that he made it this far. He actually deserves it because he remains to be humble and down-to-earth. Die-hard fan? Haha. No, he's just a guy to die for. my type and my dream guy.
Anyway, even if he didn't win, i still love him. (Natatawa na ako sa sarili ko. Sorry naman) His speech to his fans: "Every second, every day is worth it talaga. Maraming salamat sa inyo lahat." Welcome Ivan, welcome. So, the winner? Surprisingly, it's James Reid! my second crush. my bet's actually Ryan Bang, kasi naman, sobrang laki ng mga pagbabago sa kanya when he entered the PBB house. But yeah, James Reid won, hooray still! Actually, lahat naman sila deserve manalo. I actually love this season. I don't know why. Anyway, so much PBB Hang-over. so there, congrats again to James, Ryan, Fretzie, Devon, Ivan, Brett. Kudos!

forget.

"I always forget to forget you."

:'(

ayayatin ka.

one of the best on-site avp's i've watched so far. Minsan gusto ko na maniwalang ikakasal din ako someday. Lately kasi, hindi na ako naniniwala sa weddings, but through this video, parang i wanted to believe in love again. Maybe someday..maybe someday..
And also, this video makes me love my work as wedding coordinator more. See how magical wedding is? It makes people hope for love just a little bit more.
Enjoy one of the cutest wedding on-site AVP's ever! Na-goosebumps ako sa video, sana kayo din. :)

after the five trial, i passed.

After Makati-Ortigas-Luneta, I went to MOA for another job application. I was supposedly accompanied by my bestfriend, Lyra but sadly, she had sore-eyes. Bad vibes. I was half-hearted before going, pero sabi ko, bahala na si spiderman so there, i find myself in the lobby of ACS and filling-up my application, alone. My first exam was easy, the usual grammar exam test. Buti walang technical exam, kaya i passed. The next test is typing, hindi ko pa na-experience yun sa ibang companies and to my surprise, i passed kahit feeling ko ang bagal ko pa din though it's okay, I was 96% accurate naman. Not bad. After the two exam, ate lunch at MCDO with co-applicant then went to Powerbooks to kill time and read "Have a little Faith" sadly, hindi ko na naman natapos, kasi kulang ulit sa oras. Before the clock hits 1:05, went out of the bookstore and went back to ACS for the last oral exam. I thought im gonna fail because I'm having a difficulty expressing my self through fone. But fortunately again, I passed. The HR told us that we're gonna be contact next week for the next schedule of final and initial exam, but the training is gonna be on August. Tagal pa. I don't know if i'm gonna pursue it, Bahala na ulit si spiderman.

***

After the long wait, he finally pm'd me his number. Napansin niya din sa wakas ang thread message ko. To my dismay, he didn't said anything. Just his number and this smiley: :))
Nang-aasar pa ata. But seeing his name again in my FB page, i felt like crying again. I wanna pm'd him back, but i could'nt. wala din naman akong sasabihin. Did i save his number? Nah. I'll continue to burn the bridge.

doubled-up sadness.

having yogurt in MOP
***

Another Interview, this time with Rachel in Manila Ocean Park as Customer Assistant in their Bar Lounge. Cool, eh? As usual, tinamad na naman ako sa interview. Even before the interview started, I wanted to quit already. What the hell is happening to me? *sigh* I just felt really really drained and tired of all the shit interviews but ironically, i wanted to get a job. As in badly. Feeling ko, hindi lang self confidence ko ang nawala, but rather, tumaas ang inferiority complex ko. My hope's are diminishing that I'll never ever get my dream job. Pero ano nga ba ang dream job ko? Hindi ko na din alam eh.
I really feel warmed up when i'm with the circle of BOHG (Rachel, Belle, Ann J. As usual), hindi ko masyado nararamdaman yung lungkot but when they started talking about their flight to Singapore next month when we we're chillin' at starbucks MOA, the sadness doubled-up knowing I'll be the left behind. Although susunod naman ako, feeling ko ang tagal tagal pa nun, I couldn't imagine myself without them. Even if im silent about it, the sadness i'll be facing in the coming months without them is tremendous and yes, painful.

Squeezed out.

Went to Asian Traveller Magazine for an interview. Sadly, they're looking for an Accounts Executive and not editorial assistant, but the publisher is so nice that he told me that he'll save my resume in their database when they needed freelance writers. After Makati, went straight to Ortigas for another interview, this time as events assistant. Biglaan nga lang yun eh, i was texted kaninang 10:30 lang, since i'm in Makati na, dumirecho na ako without further thinking. So there, I came in the red office and met new friends named Regine, Xhielle and Nico which is also an applicant. The Interview went okay and easy, pero unlike before, nawala na yung confidence ko when I was being interviewed. Sa sobrang dami na kasi, na-drain na ako eventhough memorize ko na yung lines na sasabihin ko when ask, "tell me about yourself". Been through a lot of interviews already, nakakasawa na. Feeling ko, wala na akong creative juices, it was all squeezed out. Sabi ko dati, mas may edge pag may experience na sa work, pero it doesn't seem to be always that way pala. Sana bumalik na yung dating energy ko when it comes to job interviews.
I want her back, today. Now. I need my old self back again.

Fathers Day.

"Karapatan daw ng anak iwan ang magulang para buhayin ang sarili, pero obligasyon daw ng magulang na hindi iwan ang anak, kahit anong mangyari."
-I'll be there
***

Okay, i haven't seen the movie. I just received the quote from my friend Rachel, the moment i read it, napa-aww talaga ako kasi totoong totoo.

Went to Pasay to spend Father's Day with Lolo, had heavy lunch and just bond with my pamangkins. Also had a great time playing with my favorite pamangkin lira, she's getting so adorable each time. Ang lambing lambing. Everytime i said, "kiss" she easily pout her lips and kisses me. Anyway, We're so happy that Lolo's getting better and better. I hope continous yung recovery, ayoko na ulit makita siyang mahina o malungkot o nasa hospital. I hope god continue to heal him.
After the watching the controversial revelation of John Lloyd in 'the buzz', went straight to Church to Hear Mass. After such a long time, i received the body of christ again. Hindi pa kasi ako nakakapag-confess, pero that time, walang tanung tanung, pumila agad ako. I felt i needed God's forgiveness. I knew in my heart that even if i still haven't confess, he already knew how badly i wanted to correct the mistakes I make. I know, he knows all my sins and how i brutally wanted to be forgiven. After the communion, I prayed and I felt like crying.

***

Dad came. sinundo kami and I still haven't greeted him. Eh, kasi naman nabati ko na siya last week. Haha. But i knew that he already knew my message would be. It's always been 'Thank you' for the undying patience and love he had given.
To Dy, I know you know that we love you and we thank you for everything! Happy Father's Day. :)

brownout.

I hate BROWNOUT's! Buti nalang puyat na puyat ako last night kaya tulog ako the whole evening. But still, ang init init pa din even if it's raining.

Lasalle to Central.

define 'wasted'? :))

***

Finally! Rachel and I finished our clearance and was able to request our TOR's and Diploma. Whew. Bago matapos ang clearance, as usual, andami ko muna pinagdaanan. I finally able to sign it to Mam Quadra na sobrang pinaalala how i cried on our thesis, had my exit interview with the new guidance counselor which is mabait din but I miss Mam Bernardo. Exit Interview went okay and I shared a lot more than what I expected, but it was a release. After that interview, I felt a little better and okay. Then, went to the new College Dean which is Sir George Francisco, our intro to BroadJourn Professor way back, kudos to Sir George! Then, went to the accounting office for the last stop. Nahingal ako sa kakalakad pero okay lang, kasi sa wakas tapos na!

***

Went to Ann's crib to rest before we go to Central to celebrate Belle and Giselle's post-birthday celebration. When we're in Central, kabubukas pa lang ata, kasi wala pa masyadong tao. As expected, the celebrants were late kaya nauna na kami kumain. And when they came, session ng session ng session till closing. Nakatulog nga ako nung kasagsagan kasi pagod na pagod at antok na antok ako. Sorry. Haha. But it was a BLAST! Everyone had fun lalo na yung patapos na at sunod sunod na yung shot ng "Squeeze Me". Kami lang ata ang maingay sa Central, but we didn't mind. The bill cost 3k but to tell you, sa dami ng kinain namin or rather, pinulutan at ininom namin, it was worth it. Happy celebration day to Tween and Khuleetz! We love you! :)

Babe, i love you.

I just stayed home and watched Anne Curtis and Sam Milby movie, "Babe, I love you". I find the movie amusing. Even though the story is simple, it has a heart. Hindi ko alam kung talagang mababaw lang luha ko, pero naiyak talaga ako. *sigh* The story encompasses "love is acceptance" that beyond what happens to one's past, we shouldn't judge them but rather accept, despite and in spite of it because we love them.

here's my favorite line of the movie:

Kitkat to a depressed Anne: “Tapos na ang fairy tale. Gumising ka na! Hindi sya si Prince Charming at hindi ka si Cinderella!”

Oo na nga, gigising na.

not knowing.

"Not knowing is the WORST feeling in the world."
-Meredith Grey
***

I went to BF Resort for an Interview as Pre-school teacher in Kencare. The Interview went okay, but I think I failed. Hindi siguro convinced sa mga sagot ko, cause maybe, hindi din ako sure if I really do like the job. Sabi nga nung naginterview sakin, I may have seen but i never did experienced being a pre-school teacher so I didn't know.
After the interview, i come to realize and believe that I'm lost. Hindi ko na kasi alam kung ano talaga ang gusto ko o kung saan na ako pupunta.

flooded with love and concern.

I kept waking up mom in the middle of the night. Still remembering what happened hours ago. The man was still whispering to my ear "asan ang pera mo, ibigay mo ang cellfone mo, dali" then, I can still hear him shout "takbo!" Ganito pala yung feeling ng traumatized. It keeps coming back. :|

***

Meron sana akong interview today pero hindi ko pinuntahan because i was so scared to go out. I just went online the whole day. I was flooded with lots of love and concern messages and I can't thank them enough. To all (again and again) : THANK YOU.THANK YOU.THANK YOU.

traumatic experience.

Went to Market market to meet-up with Aya. The moment I saw her, she really looks like in pain. And eveytime i look into her eyes, para akong maiiyak kasi anytime soon, parang lalaglag na luha niya sa lungkot. She shared her story and I listened. Actually, nahirapan ako mag-advice kasi hindi ko pa naman na-eexperience yung story niya, but somehow, I can feel how tortured and tormented she is, how longing, how sad, how painful, how she wanted to scream it all out, wanted to cry it all out. How she wanted to forget, but can't. I remember how I was like that years ago, exactly the same feeling pero the situation naman is different. Ang hirap makalimot especially if the person is the closest to perfect or best you ever had. But as I said to aya, embrace the pain until it hurts no more. Kasi, kapag na-endure na yung lahat ng sakit, you will become numb and that's when the healing starts. Wala namang nadadaan sa madaling proseso, laging sa mahirap o laging sa masakit. I know, in time, hindi na niya mamamalayan that she's already healed. She just needs time. Lots of it.
Natatawa kami kasi na-memorize ko na yung line ng ex niya "Alam kong masakit, alam kong mahirap.. pero in time, maiintindihan mo din..mapapatawad mo din ako.." (aya, tama ba? hehe)
Being there for her in times she needs a friend the most even if we're not that close back in college felt like i'm the best-est friend in the whole world. I hope, in my presence, i make her feel okay, kahit konti lang.

***

After the heart to heart talk, went to their apartment and saw Marco, Actually, just wanted to see him. Tagal ko na kasi siya di nakikita e. Walang meaning yun. Just wanted to see how he's been. That's it. They ask me to stay nalang sa apartment since it's late, pero matigas ang ulo ko, i still decided to go home. Dahil sa katigasan ng ulo ko, I was hold-up'd in MRT Guadalupe, sa may overpass and I was scared like hell! Hindi ako makapagsalita because he was choking me to death that i can't literally breathe. Plus, the sharp knife was nearly on my skin that I can totally feel it. He asked for my money which is P500, hindi pa siya nakuntento at hiningi niya pa yung cellfone ko. I was really hesitant to give it, because I loved that fone so much. That's my first investment when I started to work, and now it's gone. Hindi ko naramdamang gusto ko umiyak, but i just terribly wanted to get out of his arms and be free. Amidst the ruthless and the hardship i've experienced in the arms of the hold-upper, im still thankful that he let me free. That night, I thought I was really gonna die. The hold-upper let me run and I did as fast as I can. It was like in horror movies, I was on the tunnel lost and scared and badly wanted to see the light. And when I did, I wanna burst into cry but I did'nt instead, I ask for help to the man who I first saw, sinamahan niya ako sa police to report, but sadly, hindi ko na tinuloy because I know, my time will be wasted since hindi ko naman namukhaan yung holdupper at hindi na siya mahuhuli. That time, I just really wanted to fly all the way home as soon as possible so I could hug my mom. Sa bus, nanginginig talaga ako sa takot, I wanted to cry, pero hindi ko talaga magawa at walang luhang nalabas. My voice is still cracked sa pagkakasakal, saw my hand and i saw small bruises but i didn't feel any pain. I just wanted to go home, i just wanted to go home. Paulit-ulit yun. When I went out of the pedicab, saw kuya, mom, chi all look so worried and crying, they tightly hugged me. We all hugged each other and that's the moment, i started crying. My Mom broke down and still heavily crying while saying, "hindi ko kaya" we are all so worried to mom's condition, kaya tinawag na ni Kuya si Daddy. Dad came to the rescue and help mom sit on the chair, Hindi ko alam gagawin ko at sasabihin when dad was so angry and kept saying, "ayan, uuwi ng gabi.." and the rest hindi ko na naintindihan because I can't think and I don't know what to think. Ate Ollie also called, crying and worried. Hindi ko na nga siya masagot ng maayos kasi wala talaga ako sa sarili. But I thank her for all the concern. I posted what happen to me in FB and many reacted and totally concerned. Para sa lahat: MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT. From the bottom of my heart, I really can't thank you enough for the overflowing love and concern. It means a whole lot to me and to my family.
Still, I felt blessed that amidst to what happen, god is so good na yun lang ang ginawa sakin at hindi ako pinatay or anything and that god let me live and saved me. Thank you God, thank you god. Thank you god.

touchy's day out.

we miss you Mhel.

***

It was raining so hard when I came to Tagaytay, saw Carmel on the waiting shed then, Rachel came for the rescue because both of us have no umbrella. Walking on our way to Yellowcab, it was still raining so madly hard, we're now all soaked. Basang sisiw talaga. But it was fun, we kept laughing ourselves out. Anyway, we just went to YC to ate Rachel's ordered food, share share since im full pa naman, but as usual, Carmel ate 80% of it. Haha! Went to Starbucks for hot chocolate, thank god! felt a lot better. Sumama kasi yung pakiramdam ko after getting soaked.
Wella fetch us with her new red car. Asaran lang kasi first time niya kami sinakay. Tapos, bisita lang sa bahay nila. ooh, how we missed it! Iba yung feeling 'coming back' with thesis mates, nakaka-reminisce. Siguro most of our thesis days was spent in Wella's crib kaya nostalgic. After wella getting dressed, direcho na agad kami sa Lourdes to hear mass. The original plan was in Pink Sisters, kaya lang we're late na so we decided in Lourdes nalang. While hearing mass, Rachel shared a story about "him" that made me cry. Akala ko, okay na ako, hindi pa pala. After what I had heard, para na naman akong nalutang. Hindi naman ako dapat masaktan or anything, but my heart says, it still hurts knowing that we'll never gonna be possible. And that, i should stop dreaming. lalo na ngayon. Okay, moving on, we had dinner in tokyo tokyo. Wella's treat dahil mayaman na siya. Haha. Finally, natuloy din ang 'touchy' bonding after such a long time, It was really worth the wait. It felt really good seeing 'us' again.

PGT.

Went to Mcdo, Pasay Rotonda to wait for Carmel, Andrew and Dward. Ride on MRT for free!!! Independence day it is. Wow. pero heavy, jampacked ang train. Good thing, nakasakay naman kaming walang nasasaktan at buhay. Went to Araneta Coliseum for the Pilipinas got Talent Performance Night and we had a blast! Alakim was my bet actually, although i know hindi naman talaga magic yun at tricks lang, but i think he did really well. The crowd in Araneta was totally swoon. Anyway, I'm not really a Jovit fan, but hearing 90% of the Araneta cheer for Jovit, there must be really something about him. Wild guess? Maka-masa? Anyway, the Performance Night (supposed to be) ended morning na. On our way home, Dward and I had few talks (kahit garalgal na ang boses ko at naka-100x na hikab na ako sa pagod at antok). When he ask me if I'm okay after sharing my story, I said, i am, he ask me again if i really really am without pretensions, and i said again that I am. I really hope from the bottom of my heart that I could stand being okay for long. Home by 1:30.

we may be as well be strangers.

"Im lying to myself. I give myself false hope and false expectations that never match up to reality. I twist circumstances around in my mind to make them seem better than they actually are. I think too much about the smallest, most insignificant gestures and blow them up like balloons and float around in this euphoric bubble of what could be and what I want to happen and am always so let down by what I'm left with, an almost, could be, maybe situation. I think too much into a smile and catching someone's eye from across the room. I think too much into an accidental hand brushing and prolonged eye contact. I tell myself that it can still happen, and I cling to the tiniest little glimmer of hope, even though I know that there's a little itch I can't scratch that tells me that I'm wrong, and that I can't make something out of nothing. I'm living in this fantasy world, where happy endings really do exist, and the boy and the girl always do end up together. I'm tricking myself into thinking that we're perfect for each other, when in reality, we may be as well be strangers." -tumblr.

Stings like hell.

kahit fifteen minutes lang ulit.

BAWAL KA MA-MISS. BAWAL.But i miss him. Everytime i see him online in FB, i kept wishing we'll talk. Kahit saglit lang. Kahit fifteen minutes lang ulit. :|

will never happen.

"There's no point of waiting around for something that will never happen."

***

I opened his FB page again. As usual, kahit wala naman akong nakikitang anything na ikasasakit ng puso ko, nasasaktan pa din ako. Wala naman na dapat ako hintayin pa or asahan, it's just that im too stubborn to quit it. Sabi ko kaya ko na tangapin, pero babawiin ko din.

***

Someone from the past, pm'd me again and to my surprise, he asked me out. Hindi naman ako nageexpect ng anything. It was actually a casual invitation. I think he's still sad and he needs someone to talk to lang, that's it. But unfortunately, i said no. I wanted to take it back, pero my mind just wouldn't agree. Okay. inhale. exhale. I wish he'd ask me out again.

always look at what you have left.

“Always look at what you have left. Never look at
what you have lost.”

***

My new found friend Tricia and I applied in Duzon and HSBC (both call centers) and meet new friends named AJ and Shiona. The one good thing about being an applicant and interview today is that I get to meet new people and able to share the same goosebumps when the HR calls us for our turn. Sharing, my voice was shaking when i was being interviewed through phone but luckily, I and the rest of the gang passed. We'll just wait for the scheduled date for the next interview. After the mini bonding with the new friends, we bid goodbye's and see you soon's.

***

Meet-up with Belle and Chel in Starbucks, Northgate, just across the HSBC Building. A lot of catching up and love sessions especially with tween who has her "perfect man" hang-over, still. Hindi ko din naman siya masisisi, ideal eh. Siguro, if i we're on her shoes, i'll do the same thing especially kung si ano yun. Oo na, blinded na. pero totoo naman diba? We are always blinded by the idea of how love can make illusions into magic. Nakakainis how a single person can make us put down all our defenses.
Moving on, went home tired and drained for the long day, I still kept thinking about him on my way home pero unlike before, unti-unti ko na natatangap na okay na lang, na wala na talaga. Na-realize ko nalang na i should cling to those who cares for me particularly, my friends. That whatever i have lost, they are always ready for the back up and the save, the one's who stand by me through and through and the one's that whatever crap i've been to, will never ever leave.