strangers.

***
"it’s my overactive mind that comes up with
situations that ruin everything. So, im sorry. Its not you. It's me."
***

I never expected to see him again, not this time. Thanks to Marlon for the surprise, Nakakagalit. As usual, my body shivers and I feel i'm gonna explode- in a really really bad way. Hindi ko alam bakit ganun, pero ganun e. Labo. I dont freakin' know why i like him this much and why i can't just quit it to think we're just complete strangers. When i saw him, Ang awkward. Nararamdaman ko sa hangin. I dont know if im over reacting, pero wala lang. feeling ko, na-aawkward-an din siya. He didn't even look at me and i tried my best not to look at him either. Ang weird pa nun, hindi pa ako nakakapasok ng school, sa 711 pa lang, i saw his blockmates na, i think it's ria and syenna ata yun. Pagkapasok naman, we saw kim at nagbiro pa about him. But honestly, Oo na. Umaasa akong makita siya, but when i saw him again, my heart dropped on the floors. There was a moment pa when i looked on their side, i saw him walking while drinking and i don't know kung nagkatinginan kami or what, or i assumed, pero i know umiwas siya agad ng tingin. And that moment, hindi lang nalaglag ang puso ko sa sahig, but my heart just died. Sadly, we're strangers now and we can never be the same again.

***

After school, we went to Pink Sisters to just solemnly pray. Andami ko sinulat sa letter but as always, it's as simple as my prayers. As I remember, these are my 5 simple wish (no particular order): Acceptance, Safety, Guidance, Love and Direction.
After Pink Sisters, we went to Pancake House for meryenda/dinner c/o First!
(First, thank you for the treat! Sobrang nabusog kami! sa uulitin! jk.)
On our way home, hindi ko masyado naisip how sad i am since kinukulit ako ni tween but when they all left the bus, nagflash-back na naman yung nangyari during the day. I don't know why it's so hard to quit the ideal. Eh, pucha. Ideal ba yun? eh lagi nga ako binabargas. pero, ewan ko ba, siya yung gusto ko e.