Tonight, im wishing for happiness and nothing else.

Slept the whole day. woke by by 1130 pm, kasi super ingay na sa labas. everyone's enjoying new year, this is suppose to be my favorite holiday, pero ang weird ng feeling ko tonight e, parang wala ako sa sarili. Maybe, im thinking too hard and too much. Im happy and sad, or both. 2009 started in pain, and now, im ending it with pain. Sana, hangang dun na lang yun. For once, i wanted to be happy. yung genuine happiness na nababasa ko sa libro, kasi if they felt it, im sure, mararamdaman ko din yun in time, pero sana, ngayon na yun. 2009 is definitely my year, im sure of that. lost many important people, cried like a river, numb to pain, i dont wanna experience it anymore in the coming year. Tonight, im wishing for happiness and nothing else. I wanted to laugh so hard, breathe freely, smile genuinely, love and be loved back and live like im dying. Im lifting all this to god, because he knows, how id brutally wanted this.