i am more than that.

Meeting at the Bayanihan center for an event on February 4. badshot nga ako because i wasn't able to contact the sound supplier, kaya ayun, late. na-down talaga ako nun, feeling ko, wala ako nagagawang tama. I felt i was being the 'stupid joni' again. Oo nga naman, it's just a simple task at hindi ko pa magawa ng maayos. Nag-flashback tuloy sakin yung mga things that my past boss had said, that totally ruins my spirit. Sabi nga nila, "words are powerful, it can break you." and yes, it's true. because it breaks me. Kaya nga im working so hard... hindi para may patunayan ako sa ibang tao, but to prove myself that im not what they think i am. I may be slow, unpredictable, clumsy and stupid-y sometimes, but im trying my hardest and hardest to be better and better each time i fall down. I just hope, people would just not look on the layers of one's person, but also the core. that people would understand and accept that i have flaws and that i cant be perfect all the time, because i wont be, and that even if i am known to be childish, crybaby, weak, slow, gullible, emotional and all the negative traits they consider as my weakness- i am MORE than that.
Honestly, i am depress, sad and really down today, because when i look back and saw the people who drags me down, there's a little pity for myself there and it affects me so much that it hurts.
But i know, god has plans, and that even if there is a lot of things going on with me now, he will never ever fail me. I'm really positive about that.

***

Krinel texted me, and yes, decision's final. Im gonna go and search for happiness. :-)