wake-up call.

HOPE never leaves me, i was known to be the most hopeful even if its hopeless. but there were just days, i wanted to abandon it. Like today.

***

I wake up from a really good dream, but in reality, it was actually a wake up call for a nightmare. Our supposedly 'meet-up' for the second time didn't happen. Did i expect a lot? yes, A LOT. I know, it's bad pero siguro i was just really known for hoping too much even if it's just false hopes. I remember when i'm on my way to atc, i plan to buy him a cupcake and i'll place a 'sorry' note for what happened yesterday para makabawi lang. I texted him twice and i get no response. It wasn't actually the waiting part that hurts, it's the 'no-text-at-all' is. I said to myself that i'm gonna wait till eight, but when the clock hits 7:30, i ended up crying in the bathroom. I felt really sad, upset and disappointed. Yesterday was not the worst, it was actually today. Kung si Belle ang kasama ko kahapon for the back-up, today, unexpectedly, si marco. Naiyak ako at natauhan when he ask me to go home, "Hay joni..umuwi ka na" he said. I felt better when he spend a bit of his time to comfort me in such a way, and that he cares. He's the least person i thought would comfort me, but im really glad that he did just this once. On my way home and even at home, i still can't stop crying. Parang di ako mauubusan ng luha. Alam ko, wala naman ako dapat iiyak, siguro lang kasi i expected a LOT and it just hurts that i let myself. By 9pm, yung text na hinihintay ko the whole day finally came, I don't know if im gonna believe the reason but honestly, i didn't. It's the lamest. But whatever the reason is, he didn't even say sorry and it hurts just more.