i wish he was the one for you.

went to Manila Hotel for a meeting na wala naman ako halos maintindihan. Ate lunch then meeting again, grabe yung sama ng pakiramdam ko that i wanted to sleep and rest. yes, im sick. Yung feeling na nanghihilab, ganun. Buti nalang, nagpaalam ako agad, or else, feeling ko mahihimatay ako, Carlo, a new friend of mine na kasama sa meeting yung kasama ko papuntang Lyceum, then tinuro niya where would i go papuntang bus stations, so there, nakauwi naman ako ng maayos kahit i was really really sick sa bus.

***

Im a bit sad today, kasi feeling ko, he had changed. hindi na siya nagtetext sakin, and im really really waiting kahit 'hoy' lang. Honestly, i feel so bad that it nearly made me cry. lalo na dun sa paguusap namin ni honey, that she said that she wished that he was the one for me and i replied that 'i wish for the same thing'. Ang weird kasi, iba siya sa standards ko, that i wanted a guy that is so caring and sweet all the time, which is hindi siya ganun, most of the time pa nga, wala kaming matinong pag-uusap. Walang sweet-nothings, walang special concerns. Minsan, meron, pero mas madalas, wala. Alam mo yun, he's totally different to what i wanted, but i still liked him. Sabi ko nga kay honey, which is my favorite line sa paguusap namin, that if ever he'd loved me, my heart will feel safe. Kasi, i knew in my heart that he is different, and honey agreed.

***

Ayun, facebook'ed the whole night, when i logged-in in ym, he pm'd me, *thank god* ayun, ka-bargasan na naman, but it made me happy and sad all at the same time, pero feeling ko mas mataas yung percentage na sad ako because of him. Although he's a bit concerned and all because im sick, lagi naman ako jino-joke time. NAKAKAINIS. Although i wanted to rest and sleep, i still wanted to chat him kahit na alam kong wala lang. he texted me by 11pm, his first text of the day which is so unusual. ayun, mabibinat daw ako kaka-pc, kaya naman kahit i wanted to rest na, i logged in sa FB ulit, and we chat. He told me to rest na and all, then when the time comes na i said goodnight, nag-goodnight na din siya, and i started to feel the coldness.
I tried my hardest not to text him, pero i give in, kasi kahit andaming nagtetext sakin tonight, i only wished for his name to appear when my fone beeps. sadly, hindi nag-appear e. :(