change always scares the hell out of me.

Did a lot of task at the office today, met the ojt: Ione, which became later my friend kasi super 'loka-loka' din like me ^^. After work, meet-up with Kim, which surprised me na mag-me-meet-up kami, he introduced me to his friends, weird. just so weird, pero there's this 'kilig' factor i felt nung hinatid niya ako ulit sa SFG. I had a great time with him even if its just a short period of time.

***

I was speechless when my 2 boss said that my contract will end by February 15, pero i know in my heart, that this will happen... siguro, hindi lang ako naging prepared that it'll come soon. They explain the why's, pero hindi naman kasi ako yung taong matanong, pero thankful pa din ako that they get to explain everything. Sinabi din nila yung mga flaws ko, which is okay lang kasi, i get to have a better view of it and in some ways, mas mababago ko in the future. Of course, i cried. I dunno the reason why, or what are the things that broke my heart, pero i agree with Mam Leah that she can see that i am afraid of changes. Siguro din, naiyak ako when they told me that, they hope that i could get a job na hindi ako matatakot magkamali, kasi ang totoo, i kept wishing for the same thing. I can't feel any hard feelings, kasi i know that they also want the best for me, that they knew me as a good person. Ang weird, kasi as i get to hear them, nagfa-flashback yung mga sinabi ni Mam Teena sakin before na: i have a good heart, pero minsan, hindi lang dapat puro 'bait', i should know my skills and i should know what my passion is. Right now, honestly, i dont know what to do after this, hindi ko alam kung pano ako magsta-start all over. But i wish, i badly wish that i get the courage to get all my CONFIDENCE back, kasi feeling ko, it's all gone.
On my way home to Cavite, i can't stop crying even sa bus...till i fall asleep. Because i know, after the 15th, everything will change, and yes, change always scares the hell out of me.